Thursday 12.16.04 Update – its been 4
weeks
This email will be a stretch for
me... something new.
I have the choice of sharing this
experience and getting over it or not sharing this experience and letting it
have a debilitating affect.
(This part was written ‘yesterday’,
Wednesday.)
I am going back to
I was supposed to go there prepared
to do a 'flow analysis'. You know... a pee test.
I was prepared for it because I did
the same thing at Mayo. I had a bottle of water to drink at
I stopped by the admissions office in
the hospital, first. The girl in that office had a boyfriend up here who goes
to FBC. Anyway, she wasn't there. But, I left the flyer we have about our
Christmas program with the women who were there. Plus, I left my practice cd to
give her an idea of what it was going to be like.
As I walked back to the car I got
this warm feeling in my shoe. The stopper came off the bottom of "the
bag". Hind sight says I should've turned around and looked for it, maybe.
But, I got in and drove around to the medical building where my doctor is.
I got this 'bright' idea, since the
primary system failed, to go with the backup system, ie. "the pad".
Wrong. It was
It was a mess... to put it politely.
I was a mess, soaked.
I got in the car and left. I tried
calling the doctor but, barely could get the words out to say I needed to
reschedule and then hung-up on them. They were concerned. I was not happy.
It wasn't until this afternoon
(Wednesday) before I left for church that I could call them back without
getting all emotional.
No more flow analysis tests for me...
I will be going back tomorrow morning around
Kinda makes me think the devil was
involved with it somehow... I just have to get on top of it by not getting
embarrassed to the point where it incapacitates me. I need to plan ahead and
have options... like a change of clothes in the car.
Didn't know this was going to be so
much 'fun'.
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(This is email was written on
I went back to
I walked in, the receptionist looked
at me and said my appt was FRIDAY.
I was just 24 hours early. I smiled
and told her I was not coming back tomorrow. The doctor was in surgery all day.
I sat down and talked with the nurse, instead.
I'm glad I did. The nurse said some
things I know the doctor would not have said. She just filled in some blanks.
She said that she questioned the
doctor about my surgery. First off, I think that's really nice. It appears that
the whole staff shows an interest in their patients.
She said the bladder/urethra
reconstruction took more effort because of the extent of the prostate cancer.
Consequently, it will take more time to heal internally and to regain
continence. She was confident that that process would go well, it would just
take more time. Although there is no guarantee.
She also said that women are more
used to 'leaking' then men whereas men don't handle that issue well at all.
She talked about some of the pain and
discomfort I’ve been having, especially with the perineum area. You know… like
when you sit down. It was nice to have her talk specifically about some of the
issues I’ve been having and hearing that they will get better eventually.
I asked her how long the
'relationship' would last between me and the urology center. Technically
speaking, I can go back to my urologist in town. She said that they would like to
keep in touch to monitor my progress and gather statistics. But, any further
medical issues could be addressed by my doctor here.
She gave me the post operative
report. I'll put that on my web site sometime. I'm working on putting
everything on the web site. I just have a lot of other things going on as well.
We had choir practice tonight. We
have choir practice Friday night and on Saturday. If I survive all of this
then I know I can sing in the Christmas program on Sunday.
Hope to see everybody there... (c:)~
seriously.
Paul